Too Close For Comfort

I read a lot (A LOT) of chick-lit, so I recognize the formula. It might be wrong to admit there is a formula, but screw it. That's just the truth. Reading chick-lit is like watching a romantic comedy; the story is predictable but in the most comforting way. Have you ever watched a romantic comedy that didn't end the way you wanted it to? And weren't you mad when you didn't get what you expected?  Yeah, me too. (Side note: I'm still not over "The Break-up" (2006). I hold a grudge.)

All of this is to say, I'm used to seeing the similarities between other authors' published works and my work-in-progress. As I've accepted the inevitability of following the chick-lit rules, I don't let similar rhythms or even plot devices make me question my work or what I'm trying to do. What does bother me is when I'm reading one of these similarly structured stories and find writing weaknesses that I recognize from my own work.

Here are just a few: 

Joke Fail-  When a character is telling a joke or a funny story and it doesn't land, it makes the reader uncomfortable. Whether the writer knows it or not, her joke just bombed and the audience is uncomfortable. I found this in one of my supporting characters. His voice was meant to be the glib voice of absurdity ridiculed, but after review, his words were just trite (the annoying cousin of predicable). As a result, I've changed his tone and his dialogue. I had to give him a greater stake in the story and explore more of his depth as a character. I'm much happier with him now. He's someone I would actually like to know instead of a caricature of someone I once met. Lesson Learned: Hackneyed jokes are red flags for under-developed characters.

Dialogue Disorders- Unless you want to waste word space with endless "saids", (Jen said to Ben..., Ben said to Jen..., Ben and Jen said to Ken...), it's important for characters to be easily identified by their dialogues. I notice most often that this is a problem when you're dealing with a character being written by the opposite sex. In the case of chick-lit, it is usually the male voice written by the female author that doesn't work. This was no exception for me. Nothing can douse a hero's romantic flame like making him sound like a girl.  Lesson Learned: Run a guy check for the man talk. If the (or just "a") man in your life says, "A guy would never say that" , the dialogue probably needs a tweak or two.

Offensive Repeaters- If you start screaming "pick up a thesaurus" at a book, there is a problem. I have found myself doing a lot of yelling with several, very  popular, books lately and it makes me nuts! When a word or phrase is over used to the point of distraction, it takes the reader (this reader especially) out of the story. To make sure I wasn't committing the same crime I did word searches for strong words that I found and anything that ranked over 10 uses in my 60,000 word document was changed. The worst offender was "whore" with 15 uses. (I might want to mention that to my therapist.) Lesson Learned: The thesaurus and the word search function are your friends. Use them.

Should these unfortunate similarities between my unpublished manuscript and other authors' published works be comforting? I mean, hey, someone got that junk through. Maybe, but not really. It makes me more nervous that even if (wait, I'm supposed to be positive) when, I get published, that the work I put out could still be crap. No one wants that. So, no, it's not comforting at all. I suppose what I can take from this is that, as it's been said before, being an avid reader makes you a better writer. So what am I going to do to work on my skills? Read.

Yay! I just justified another trip to the book store!

The One Where the Plot Goes Missing

I am a life long T.V. junkie. Since I pursued a career in television production, I thought all of those hours committed to the consumption of episodic programming, particularly silly sitcoms (the louder the laugh track the better), had served me well in my goals. Ah, you just can't beat the comfort of rationalization.

What's that you say? Read my writing? Fine. Ok. I don't see why, but-

Damn.

Perhaps my little habit hadn't prepared me well for my new path. Once it was in pieces, I was forced to see that my manuscript was not a plotted story, but a collection of episodes; small, sometimes silly, events connected by character, time and place, but not events that were necessarily entwined or relevant to one another and definitely nothing that was propelling my protagonist in any direction.

Well, shoot- that's a problem.

After a sleepless night of some not-so-nice meditation (it went something like- "you suck" "you shouldn't have even tried" "what made you think you could do this"), it occurred to me that the solution to my big problem was pretty simple. I needed to define a tangible goal for my protagonist. I had established my goal as the writer, meaning I knew what I wanted her to experience, learn, and achieve, but I hadn't given her a goal within the context of the story. With that addition, without changing the tone or intention of the novel, I finally had motivation for events, connections of cause and effect, and (miracle of miracles!) an actual plot. Yay for growth!

Ok, maybe it's not fair to blame my literary shortcomings entirely on television, but it is also called the idiot box, so I'm just going to let it ride. Oh, rationalization, how I've missed you.

Playing With (Story) Blocks

Have I ever mentioned that the revision process is hell? While I'm working my way through this hellish process chapter by chapter, paragraph by paragraph and line by line, there has been one thing that stands out as the most helpful tool in my re-write toolbox and it's the thing that removed most of my hard chosen words and turned my manuscript into a small collection of half pages that are both voiceless and utilitarian. That tool is chapter summaries. It's such a simple idea- go through the manuscript one chapter at a time and summarize each one. So easy! So useful! Why is it so helpful? (It's cool. I know that's what you're thinking.) It's helpful in a few very specific, but really important ways.

1. Structure Check- Like a story, a chapter should have a beginning, middle and end. Summarizing a chapter makes it easy to spot if the chapter is delivering on its story responsibilities.

2. Chapter Cuts- This one is major but painful. In my earlier editing efforts I could feel when a chapter was dragging, but I couldn't bring myself to cut it. All that work just to be deleted? I couldn't deal with it. But, when that dragging, unnecessary or redundant chapter is reduced to a few paragraphs, it becomes a lot easier to draw an aggressive red X through it and move on. (Note: when I went back to the manuscript I straight deleted red-X chapters. I did not read the chapter again. The red X shows no mercy.)

3. Plot Overhaul- I suppose not everyone will need this one, but I sure did. My plot was seriously, majorly, horrifically flawed. Once those not-so-pretty chapter summaries were done, I could physically move things around like little wordy building blocks and see where the plot was lacking. Sure, it left me with some chapters to be written from scratch, but at least now, when someone asks me what my book is about, I have a confident answer.

Now to give credit where credit it due. I did not come up with this nifty solution. I have to give credit to Chris Baty who was speaking at the Crossroads Writers conference in little old Macon, Georgia. Maybe the use of chapter summaries is a technique known by the writing vets, but it was new to me, and when I was sitting in a hotel meeting room and I asked my question- What do you do when you're stuck in revisions? - Mr. Baty threw out chapter summaries as a real and constructive solution. His answer was neither fluffy theory blow-off nor bitterness laced shutdown, both of which are abundant at writers conferences. He said- here, try this. I tried. I liked. So, props to that guy. If you're stuck like I was, give it a shot. Maybe it will work for you too. Maybe.

Off the Shelf

Writing advice books are like diet books. They all say "here's this thing I tried and it worked for me, so it must work for you too." Wouldn't it be nice if that were the case? But, the truth is, just like how-to-lose weight, all you can really get from how-to-write books is "Here's this thing that worked for me. You're welcome to try it. No guarantees." That's fine. That's fair. As long as you're trying, you are bound to find something that works.

I've only read a small handful of instructional books. There are a few more sitting on my shelf, but I've been deterred from going too in depth, because while some books are helpful and inspiring (Hello, Stephen King) many of them are just collections of  "you can do it too" trope. There is, however, one thing that every book, every guest speaker, every fellow writer seems to agree on; in order to be a writer you have to write. Don't just think about it. Don't just dream about it. Definitely, don't just read about it. Put your butt in the chair, your fingers to the keyboard and write. Sounds like pretty solid advice to me, but I think there is still some validity in reading the occasional instructional manual. Even if all you get from it is a renewal of inspiration, then you've done something good with your time.

If you're taking a break from the keyboard or if you're just looking for something to help you refocus, here's a list of a few instructionals that I've really enjoyed. If you have any to add, please chime in.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
Writing the Blockbuster Novel by Albert Zuckerman
The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. & E.B. White
How to Write What You Want & Sell What You Write by Skip Press

Procrastination Station: Work, Play, Work

I have been a bad bad writer. Not because my writing itself is bad (that's still up for discussion), but because I haven't been writing. Every how-to-write book that I've read ends in the same sentiment; sit down and write. It's the only solid advice that is universal to every writer and I've been ignoring it for well over a week. Not acceptable! As a form of self punishment, I have to fess up to whatever is keeping me away from my manuscript and this time it's work, play, and more work.

Work, my bill-paying job that is, takes up 60-70 hours of my time every week. It's just one of the perils of working in television. If you can't hack it with the schedule, then you can't hack it in the industry. I knew that going in, so I'm ok with it, but the number of hours isn't the only problem. It's also the mental exhaustion that comes from being the person that helps the creative types accomplish their goals.  When I was in school, one of my professors told me, "film making is problem solving," and he was absolutely right. That's the bulk of what I do, and I like it. I get a charge from developing and successfully executing a plan. It's the same thing that makes me love plotting a story, but when I get home, all of my mojo is gone and there is nothing worthwhile to put on the page. How do people do it? Writers come from all walks of life. There are doctors, lawyers, nurses, and all other manner of in-demand professionals who manage to write, publish and promote their work, so there must be a way.

Weekends are my prime time for writing. I usually have the better part of at least one day when I can sit down, focus, and do some real work. Last weekend - nothing. I didn't edit or add even one word. And what, you might ask, kept me away from something that is so important to me? Georgia Football (Go Dawgs!) and fancy dinner. Instead of putting in the time on my manuscript, I spent four hours in a bar screaming and barking (it's a DAWG thing) at a television and then drinking, laughing and eating with co-workers. But, there's nothing wrong with having a little fun, right? I don't want to be a hermit writer who never interacts with the outside world. Again, I ask - how do people do it? Surely not every successful writer has quit his or her full-time job and shunned all socialization for the sake of writing. Think of all of the disturbing and twisted work we as readers would be subjected to if published works were coming from personalities that only existed at a keyboard.

From what I can tell, this time management issue is a pretty normal writer problem, but how do we fix it without moving home with our parents or spending all of our time alone in a room with nothing but a blank page to keep us company? If you've got the answer, please, PLEASE share it. If you don't, join the club.

A Little Help from My Friends (Part 2)

I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know that I did depart "Procrastination Station." Ok, maybe not thrilled, but whatever, I was pretty psyched. It started with some superficial changes and evolved into huge cuts and major re-writes. I have a long way to go before my manuscript is ready for an agent's eyes, but after I hit the delete button on chapter 3, (Don't feel bad. It was total crap.) I was fully committed. As the pages changed I could clearly see two things; 1: there is value to this excruciating exercise, 2: my friends/beta-readers had been telling me all along what was wrong and I was just too chicken to see it.

Here are some honest-to-goodness answers from my beta-reader questionnaires:

Question: How did you react to the opening of the story? Were you engaged or bored?
Answer 1: I was engaged.
Subtext: I was bored. So bored in fact that I'm going give you a three word answer because I can't remember anything specific.
Answer 2: It seems to drag a little, but also needed to understand why [the protagonist] is the way she is.
Answer 3: I was intrigued, but not completely hooked in the beginning. 
Subtext: I'm trying to be really nice here, because I see what you were trying to do, but damn, pick up the pace! 

Question: Did the story move quickly enough? Too quickly?
Answer 1: Some parts were too quick; especially at the end.*
Subtext: Totally rushed the ending. What the hell?!
Answer 2: Could move faster in some places.
Subtext: It was too slow. I don't know where you fell off because I was napping.
Answer 3: Yes.  
Subtext: ?????

Question: Was the resolution satisfying? If not, what would you have like to see happen?*
Answer 1: I liked the resolution. Plus you could do a sequel.
Answer 2: It was satisfying enough and left potential for a follow up book.
Subtext: No. It was not satisfying. I want you to write a whole 2nd book just to make it ok. Get to typing! 
Answer 3: No!! I want a good sex scene at end! Okay. Okay. Save it for the 2nd book.
Subtext: I just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Also, what the first two said.

So, what can I take away from this? 1- I have some serious pacing issues. 2- My friends know what they're talking about. They may have given soft answers to spare my feelings, but the truth was still there. I just had to pay attention.
* I'm not sure if I should be comforted by this, but according to this post on  Bent on Books, the rushed ending is something that plagues a lot of us newbies. Check it out: Beginnings, Endings, and the stuff  in between

Procrastination Station

Days off are supposed to be precious writing time for us aspiring novelists. In planning for this free day I imagined pages and pages of meaningful re-writes flowing easily from my fingers. Instead, I've watched two made-for-television Christmas movies (the cheesier the better), done two loads of laundry, played some hashtag games on Twitter, made friends on Goodreads, checked out the online Black Friday deals, and, in a final gasp for time away from my manuscript, answered emails from my bill-paying job. Not exactly the progress I was looking for.

I have notes and a refreshed outline for my revisions, so at the very least, I know where I'm supposed to go, but the thought of facing my current manuscript makes me ill. I feel guilty, because I'm going to have to take it apart, completely discard several chapters and add several more (nine at the current count).  I spent months writing that first draft. Then I spent a couple more months making (I now know) superficial revisions, but those left the first draft basically intact. This set of revisions is going to change it completely and I feel terrible. It's like I'm saying "You suck little book. You are not good enough. You need a serious makeover." I'm like Stacy London except instead of ripping a wardrobe apart I'm tearing down my poor little manuscript. 


Those people on "What Not to Wear' do always seem happier after Stacy is done with themand my manuscript will be better after I'm done. I know it will. It's a tough love kind of thing. Ok, I'm going to get to it...after lunch.